Stoned Imaculate

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 07:18:27 GMT

i love you baby.

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 06:42:43 GMT

I'm starting a new journal, queenof_cool add it if you'd like.

Life's like bacon and ice cream without you.

Tue, 17 May 2005 19:03:18 GMT

Sat, 14 May 2005 19:17:36 GMT

.... I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm sad.. and for reasons that are unimportant. My mind is playing games with me again, and im going insane.

say hello to the angels.

Fri, 06 May 2005 06:28:55 GMT

When I'm feeling lazy, it's probably because,
I'm saving all my energy to pick up when you move into my airspace
You move into my airspace

And something's coming over me, I see you in the doorway
I can't control the part of me that swells up when you move into my airspace
You move into my airspace

But each night, I bury my love around you...
You're linked to my innocence

This is a concept
This is a bracelet
This isn't no intervention

This isn't you yet
What you thought was such a conquest
You're hair is so pretty and red
Baby, baby you're really the best...

Can I get there this way?
I think so

We should take a trip now to see new places
I'm sick of this town
I see my face has changed.

Say hello, say hello, to the angels.

I just remembered this time when I first started hanging out with Daniel. I think it was the same night we kissed for the first time. He had his mp3 player with him and he played me The New by interpol, and every other song he played i knew. I was so amazed that night, so amazed at our interests, and how beautiful he is. I totally fell in love that night.

bun-a bun-a ber ber

Tue, 03 May 2005 01:47:39 GMT

Oohh.. I'm so exhausted. I guess it's from yesterday. I had a great time at Coachella.. some bands were a bit of a dissapointment, but all in all it was fun. The Futureheads were great, so was the Dresden Dolls, who did a version of War Pigs in honor of the president. And the Faint was good as always. During birth, the video screen was really graphic. It even showed a baby's head being pulled out of a woman. I don't remember seeing that at soma. I just remember the little sperm swimming around, but this time they showed the whole journey of the sperm, in comparision to a city. It was rad. There were also this awesome "recycled trash" art display. It was garbage bins painted elaborately, with glitter and such things. By the end of the night my feet felt like they were burning, me and Dan were dead tired. And now I feel like crap, everytime I goto the desert, my body goes into shock and I get all sick. I think its the shock from really dry weather to the ocean kinda humid weather.

I looove you baby.

Lady Luck loves me!

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 04:55:39 GMT

I went to el cajon today and spent the day with my babe, watching Wonderland and Apocalypse Now. awesome movies. Oh and if I told u I was gonna goto the earth fair with you I cant anymore, cause I won Coachella tickets. far oooout!

The Naming of Cats, By T.S. Elliot

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 17:05:18 GMT

The name of cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Agustus, Alonzo, or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey-
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen and some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter-
But I tell you, a cat needs a names thats particular,
A name thats peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can hes keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of the names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
The name that no human research can discover-
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought, of his name
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

Jellylorum is my favorite name for a cat. I was reading last night, cause mike wanted me to read him a story, but then he didnt so i just read to myself aloud, and i found this story. I had forgotten about it. I like it a lot.
I had a crazy dream last night that me and Daniel were staying in someone's house. We were staying in their living room and diet mike and some other guy were trying to kill us. Dan didn't seem too concerned but I was so scared. At one point mike thrust his head through the front window and I cut off all his hair, and it lay in a big pile on the floor. Dan went off in the other room and hid in the bathroom and i went with him. This old black lady shows up and starts yelling at me. Telling me that I shouldnt have ate the food. And i said, all I used was a can of tomatoes! and I asked to use them first! Then she apologized and left the room. Dan said we needed to calm down and sleep, so we both took valium and went to sleep on the floor. a bunch of other stuff happened but i dont remember.

germs chasing his tail..

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 07:41:36 GMT

Ah.. I'm not feelin too well at the moment.. im terribly tired, and have a headache. I hate how I let the little things get me down, but those are the things that really hurt me. It's so annoying.. why oh why must I be so sensitive?
I had a good day today.. got to see daniel and drink guinness. oh yes.. and Doom3 very spectacular. ah but I cant help feeling down at this moment.. and it sucks. I saw a crash on the way home tonite.. the 5 south was all blocked off. There were about 4 cars mangled to all hell on the sides of the freeway. Makes you think... when will i be the one all crashed and bruised? ah.. whatever. i need sleep.

I love you babe.

my lj name reminds jess of feminine itch.

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 06:52:20 GMT

Mikes boring me with his boring life. I finally got to use my BIG D sticker today. I was so excited. I saw Daniel today and we shared an Elvis shake at the bar of the corvette diner. The bartender there is so awesome. He's all laid back, he seems like someone who would surf. I can't wait until I can get drunk at that bar and dance on tables until they throw me out (hah i'll probably get drunk and fall off my stool). Unfortunatley that was a dream of dayvid and mine :( fucker) Big Fat Mike proved me wrong today. I thought he totally made up the word "juke" and tried to pass it off as one of his black words, but today the cashier at Michaels was telling us how he got juked outta catching any waves cause the surf was bad. I was sad. YES! one of my favorite episodes of family guy is on. Stewie falls in a puddle of nuclear waste and grows tentacles. "red headed lady, reachin for an apple, shes gonna take a bite. She gonna breathe on it first, rub it on her blouse. She takes a bite, chews once, twice, three times, four times, takes a hard look at randy, five times. Fat ole husband walkin over..." it's so sad that i know so much about family guy.. i can practically apply episodes to every situation in life.

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 06:29:15 GMT

Ms. jones taught me english, but I think I just shot her son
Cause he owed me money, with a bullet in the chest you cannot run
Now he’s bleeding in a vacant lot
The one in the summer where we used to smoke pot
I guess I didn’t mean it
But man you shoulda seen it
His flesh explode

Slow motion
See me let go
We tend to die young
Slow motion
See me let go
What a brother knows
Slow motion
See me let go

Now the cops will get me
But girl, if you would let me
I’ll take your pants off
I gotta a little bit of blow
We could both get off
Later bathing in the afterglow
Two lines of coke I’d cut with draino
And her nose starts to bleed
A most beautiful ruby red

And at home
My sister’s eating paint chips again
Maybe that’s why she’s insane
I shut the door to her moaning
And I shoot smack in my vains
And wouldn’t you
See my neighbor’s beating his wife
Because he hates his life
There’s an arc to his fist as he swings
Oh man, what a beautiful thing

And death slides close to me
Won’t grow old to be
A junkie whine-o creep

Hollywood glamourized my wrath
I’m the young urban psyco path
I encite murder for your entertainment
Cause I needed the money
What’s your excuse?
The joke’s on you

Hmm.. yeah third eye blind lyrics.. ah reminds me of junior high. Bad Times. My favorite feeling is being with daniel and feeling the security that I'd never felt in my whole life. Its so wonderful to feel beautiful, and be looking at the most beautiful person you've ever seen.
It's just another day.. and I'm just in the low.. today will be better.. tomorrows another day... another day that I should be happy and taking advantage of life. it will do me some good to sleep.

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 05:17:19 GMT

Man I don't even know why I have this thing. It serves no purpose. The people I want to reply to my comments dont... well that doesn't matter cause I interact with them outside of the internet. whatever.

Eat me love

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 06:20:35 GMT

Walk through here

When I've been just by myself
I start thinking too much
Unhealthy things start to happen
Like gastric disorders

I just go out walking
With my favourite piece of wood
With a 4 inch nail driven through it

When I am just by myself
I think too much
I start polishing my behaviour
Without any mercy

Somehow people
Don't seem to like me,
I don't know why,
I really don't want to hurt them

When I've been just by myself
I start thinking too much
I know I'm not talkative
What! I've become dry?
An emotional biscuit
That's nonsense!
Sir, this nail of yours is rusty
It's evil

I like them but when I hit them
They scream and run away
Even though I say I'm sorry.
I like meeting people

A day called zero is the day we'll all relax
mountains will tumble with a long and heavy thump
Dust spreads on the sky so the sun will grow pale
oil tanks tear open and the city livens up
A day called zero will be such a busy day
whistling machines i'll hoover my past away
Controlling a bulldozer I will improve my town
stacking concrete slabs me and you my pluto
will you be with me that day?
We'll be watching and smiling
at last it's over
nothing stops us now
Come and enter me let's multiply
on a day called zero

Yeah Sugarcube lyrics. Today was very nice I relaxed with my love. mm love.
We bought mixed fruit tobacco and raspberry primetimes, which arent that flavorful.

i'm now permanently decorated.

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 23:48:09 GMT

ill just ruin your life baby.

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 17:59:20 GMT

I went to mexico yesterday. It was fuuun and my mom bought me booze. Ended up drinkin it all that nite too. So i got pretty toasted and.. i have the foggiest memory of what happened late that night.. but whatever. I dont feel good, actually i feel really bad. The lowest of the low. I dont know.. i just get really sad and start thinking all of these horrible things about myself and the people involved in my life, and jealousy starts to seep into my life. ah.. crap. I just wanna crawl into a dark hole and forget i ever lived. I'm so worried that daniels gonna hate me one day cause im stupid and get into these depressed fits. I'm so insecure..for no reason and its driving me crazy. I just have this fear that im gonna lose daniel, and im not gonna know what to do with myself. Yeah. i probably shouldn't even be worrying about it.. but i cant help it. I mean you think you know someone.. but do u really know them? i love him so much and i truly believe that i know him.. but i have all these horrible thoughts. Its all just meaningless and this isn't how i live my life and i dont even know what im rambling on about anymore.

Sat, 19 Mar 2005 02:40:06 GMT

Dear RiteAid,

I hate you, you bastards.

Thanks,
disgruntled shopper

St. Patties Day

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 04:40:13 GMT

hmm.. today was nice. hung out with mike and my daniel.. did a lot of boozin.. a lot of playing mario (mike is the master) got sexed up real nice :) and now im home alone.. still kinda a drunk but feelin great. I couldn't have asked for a better day off. i love you baby.

to my babe

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 04:05:12 GMT

Do you know what I love the most?
Even suburbs would be o.k.
With you between my sheets
And the breeze in the window
'Cause we will go there and ignore all our neighbors
I think I'll bring you breakfast and play Johnny Cash on the stereo
I'll sit in the lazy chair all day remembering the things you do
So when you come home
I'll jump up to kiss you and it will knock you back
You'll fall over our TV set
I'll pick you up and dust you off
Oh, Baby let's give it a go
I'll kiss your thighs to make you feel all right
And then I'll get closer to taste a little sweat
Oh I think I'm rearing to go
You're gonna get knocked out and tied up in my trunk
In ten years we'll go to Ohio and steal Cadillac's for a living.

fate up against your will

Wed, 09 Mar 2005 21:40:52 GMT

As I was driving down the avenue singing to myself,
I noticed a man with dreadlocks, and he began to yell.
He said, "hey yeaaah." and waved his hand.
I smiled and drove by, Sublime wailing in the air.

Blue-eyed baby

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 01:30:27 GMT

"I think I lost my loove in yer pocket.." the girl said as she thrust her hand deep down into a boy's jean pocket.
"I sweaaar baby, I'm protected." The girl's slurred sentence kept looping in the boy's head.
He just smiled ear-to-ear.
Looked down at her hand fumblin' around at his leg,
and whats between 'em.

This is the girl.

Yeah, the girl riding by the seat of her pants.
Her favorite drink is whiskey,
her favorite color is blue,
and if u promise her a good time...
she'll make love to u.

Nevermind the consequences,
nevermind yer babe at home,
This girls the right girl.
The girl you'll never know.

Forget about her name,
she doesn't need one tonite,
you can call her anything,
she said it'd be alright.

She's beautiful with her clothes off,
she's beautiful in the bathtub.
She's a beauty under the sheets,
or tied up with one.

You love your girl,
even when she's not home.

Thu, 24 Feb 2005 07:15:39 GMT

:( Life sucks right now and i dont know why...

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 17:36:15 GMT

I had a horrible conversation last nite with a dear friend of mine. Frantic storytelling, accusations of all sorts, gasps, moans, dread on her tongue. She's lost in a world of deceit and I wish her to only pull out of it in one piece. I feel so badly that she can't trust her boyfriend, that he may have ruined their relationship that they've had for so long. I got kinda frightened last nite at the thought that someone you've been with for many years, and love so dearly, can just all the sudden walk out of your life, leaving you with burning questions in your hand. But then I thought about my Daniel.... he's special. I don't know what I'd do without him. The guy I have to thank for the rest is my life is mister Kellen Meads.

P.S. Anyone wanna BUY a pair of PURPLE CORDUROY DR. MARTENS? They're size 6, in good condition, 15 BUCKS. I'm gonna sell them on ebay but I figured I'd let my friends know before I sell them to see if anyone of you want them.

Just message me!

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 06:14:08 GMT

To me the only thing left after awhile, was that night we watched documentaries up through the morning, then u kicked me out. Opened up your screen door and threw me off of the porch. It was summer then and I drove home whistling down the pike, yeah.

always a playground instructor but never a killer.

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 18:50:55 GMT

I woke up to the sound of my TV this morning. The latest teenage murder trial was in process. I couldn't remember my dreams, I suppose it was the TV that clouded my memory. I looked over to the left of my bed and saw the flowers given to me yesterday. What a day to remember. It took me awhile to get out of bed.. I laid there in a daze.. thinking of nothing important. I only wanted to see Daniel and listen to An American Prayer. The records been playing for over an hour now.

brotherhood?

Sat, 12 Feb 2005 08:56:06 GMT

I'm so disappointed in the people that just call me up cause they're stranded and need a ride home, and when they find out I can't help them they just hang up on me. Whatever happened to friendship? Maybe the alcoholic in them interferes. Well whatever it is.. im so over it.